That Girl Beat Me Up! (or Every Little Boys' Nightmare Come True!)

For as long as i can remember, i used to get beat up. It was not unusual for me to come home almost everyday from school crying or with a torn up shirt, a bloody nose or busted lip... now don't get me wrong, i am not the kind of person who goes looking for fisticuffs but somehow watching that Daniels kid get beat up or being the one to beat him up was something akin to a national past time back in the day...

Now to make it a bit more shaming (and please don't read anything sexist into this... it just is, what it is ok?) more often than not, i was getting my head handed to me by not just any other kid but in particular, i seemed to be the kid that the girls liked to pick on and beat up. To this day i still do not know why but somehow i always manged to tick Helga or Hildegarde off and then i was told that after school, it was "on".

You want to talk about humiliating... can't get much worse than knowing everyday not only are you going to end up in a fight you'll lose (because you don't know how to fight) but add to that the fact that it's in all likelihood going to be a girl who takes you down...

So why share this chapter of my life fit for the wall of shame?

Because of Sam... actually her name was Samantha but she told me to call her Sam. It amazes me that after all these years i remember her name...

For some reason Sam liked me and decided that i was going to be her boyfriend and of course i agreed... she was cute, she had braids and a pretty smile and plus if i had said no... i think she would have beat me up too. One day though Sam found out that Sandra was going to beat me up after school... not sure why Sandra wanted to be me up... must have just been her turn up to "bat". But Sam came out of school that day stood between me and Sandra and told Sandra that before she could be me up she would have to beat Sam up... come to think of it, that was the last time that year anyone threatened me... Sam made sure i was ok.

Not sure whatever happened to Sandra or Sam.... i imagine Sam probably competed under a pseudonym on American Gladiators or something... Sandra however...who knows?

One thing is for sure, that one year with Sam changed me, not because i became this great fighter but because Sam in her own way helped me see myself as worthy of being defended. i am still not sure what she saw in the quiet little boy with a thick New York accent but as i have said elsewhere i still remember Sam's name. And that says a lot more than anything else....

Where Did The Month Go?

Hmmm... sort of interesting that Black History month is about over and in many ways, there seemed to be pretty much a collective cultural yawn about it all. Perhaps the assumption that more would be made of this month of remembrance and recognition because of the presence in the White House of our nation's first Chief Executive of color, was mistaken on my part.
There are some who i suspect would say..."Well see we're past the obsessive need to see people as a color...".

i certainly hope not.

i looked to see if there might be special presentations on television or in newspapers and there didn't seem to be too much... maybe special gatherings in the local community i live in but nothing. i begin to wonder why.

The fact is, the color of a person's skin should be celebrated and recognized as a gift. Being able to celebrate a cultural heritage and share stories with those around us who perhaps have a different shade of skin color really should enrich our lives. Dr. King never said skin color didn't matter... he did however talk a lot about the content of one's character... which i believe is definitely shaped by the stories of our lives. I can't help but wonder now that our nation has openly elected a person of color to the Presidency, will there be an even louder cry to "stop making a 'big deal' out of a person's racial or ethnic background..."

i do hope that not only would we make it a point of learning and continuing to celebrate the contribution of Black Americans to this nation but that we would learn to recognize the unique contributions of other Americans from different ethnic backgrounds as well. To me this is what makes our nation so incredible... so many different people, making a such significant difference... such an incredible place to live!

The Greatest....

When i was kid, some of the greatest sports icons of all time were at the height of their careers, Arthur Ashe, Muhammad Ali, Hank Aaron, Willie Mays, Bill Russell, Walt Frazier, Jim Brown, Wilma Rudolph to name a few. As a child i had no idea what these people had to go through to get to the level of professional sports they had attained.

All i knew was that they were fun to watch! Everyone on my street wanted to hit like Hammerin' Hank or "float like a butterfly and sting like a bee"... We would talk for days on end about what this pro athlete had done or (since I lived in New York City as a kid) who was seen at what places around the city! It was pretty exciting to see men and women who looked like me doing these incredible things.

i wasn't a very good athlete as a little kid but i knew what was good game when i saw it. My mom on the other hand was a bit of a sports nut. Looking back on it now it's funny to me that she used to talk all the time about players like Bob Gibson and Roberto Clemente or she would tell me about the starting line up for the New York Mets or whether or not the Jets were going to be any good that year!

My mom wasn't ever truly a "franchise" or team fan but she was always talking to me about the great players in all sports and more often that not she was telling me about the great players who were black and helping me understand the sacrifices that these people were making in order that the door to professional sports would never be slammed shut in the face of future black athletes.

Perhaps that is not a big deal to you... maybe in light of what professional sports seems to have become today you feel a bit jaded toward these people but to a wide eyed little boy, looking for people to look up to and admire it made a pretty big difference.

I Could Do That!!!

It may be the middle of winter, but it is also Black History Month! No matter what you think, you have to admit, it's very cool to take a few weeks and focus on the unique contributions of Black Americans... so many who not only were and are famous, but people who fulfilled their purpose!

Growing up in the late 60's and early 70's, i think the thing that stands out the most to me are the black actors and actresses that took to the "silver screen"! It was a "new thing" to have so many Black people playing the main roles... the strong, take-no-trash man or woman who takes charge and saves the day! When i was a kid, seeing these men and women in these roles had a profound effect on me. For as strange as it might seem Sidney Poitier, Harry Belafonte, Ruby Dee, Ossie Davis, Pam Grier, Billy Dee Williams, Cicely Tyson, Jim Brown and many others helped me see that the sky was the limit! It was possible (if i wanted) to do the same thing they were doing... i mean, maybe not literally as a cowboy in the Old West like in Buck and the Preacher but... you know what i mean!

Of course many of the movies these pioneers were starring in had a sub-plot involving the insidiousness of bigotry or racism. But the really cool thing is that no matter what other obstacles their characters encountered they typically found a way to overcome those obstacles and teach strong lessons about doing what was right or for the greater good.

Not to mention, these people were really, really good at their craft but even in the midst of all that they never took themselves out of the reach of people who live normal, everyday, 9 to5 lives. They may have taken political or moral positions on issues but they tried to back up what they "preached" with how they lived. Not perfectly they might admit but it
made you want to be like them and that was (and is) essentially a good thing.


But at its' core, isn't that really what Black History is all about? Wanting to be like the people who have made a difference? Having an impact that last beyond the last time we draw breath here on earth? Fame is a flash in the pan... but fulfilling a purpose last for eternity...

Are We Still In America?!?

Went to Phoenix last week... leaving Midwest, dead of winter, below freezing temperatures for short sleeve weather was pretty nice! The only thing that would have made it better would have been to have my family be able to make the trip with me... but this time they couldn't...

i had the opportunity to hang out for a few days with a bunch of great people at the XP Summit. Folks from all over the country who serve their church staff in a capacity similar to mine... it was a great experience!

But i must admit the part of my little excursion out west that disturbed me and at the same time filled me with excitement me was a trip to Arizona Reservation Ministries. Having the opportunity to find a little bit more about what God is doing in Arizona was encouraging and challenging. I want to thank Dale & Diana Lawrence for allowing me to spend time with them, finding out exactly what the conditions on the ground are for the Apache people...

Let me just say i was both awed and humbled by what Diane and Jean (thanks so much!) drove me around to show me that day... with over 2 million acres of land, the San Carlos Apache reservation (total population of roughly 12,000) sits on the edge of Globe, Arizona. My mind was filled with questions as i saw up close and personal life on this particular reservation. i found myself thinking..."Are we still in America?!?" Especially given the following facts about life here....

• 77% unemployment
• Up to 20 or more people sharing one single-family home
• Many of the girls are having multiple children before they turn 18 years old
• Children begin abusing alcohol while still in grade school
  
• Growing resurgence of gang activity
  
• High instances of alcoholism and rampant methamphetamine use (80 "meth" babies were born here in 2008)
  

But in the midst of this God is working through the team at ARM, their ministry partners and supporters and many of the Apache themselves to bring hope to the Nation of the San Carlos Apache! Westbrook sent a group out west to work with ARM last summer and is planning on doing so again this summer.

The darkness cannot hold back the light, we are excited about strengthening our partnership with ARM, we pray they are excited as well!

Wow... a ton of Tiger!

i have not had much to say but have found myself wondering over the last several weeks... what's the big deal about Tiger Woods? i must admit to being a little shocked by what seems to be a generally across-the-board negative reaction to his, shall we say, indiscretions?!? Now perhaps i'd have a different take if he was married to my daughter, sister or friend... but seriously i wonder why is there such an overwhelmingly negative reaction?

• Is it driven by the shock of seeing the world's number one athlete using multiple women as nothing more than objects with which to feed his own voracious sexual desires?
• Is it driven by deep seated resentment of a ultra-wealthy guy who seemingly threw all common-sense to the wind and behaved in sexually irresponsible way?
• Is it driven by a disgust with a husband completely disregarding his own promise to remain faithful to the mother of his children?
• Is it driven by the image of a black man who, as it seems now, has a fairly narrow (and perhaps distorted) view of what "beauty" truly is?
• Is it driven by jealously, the thought "Gee, I wish I could do that... but I'd never be able to get away with it like he did/has/does?"

Not that it makes it right or ok but the fact is Tiger Woods has not done anything that many, many other people haven't already done... and that is, try to fill up the whole in our souls with garbage that will ultimately destroy us...


Technically, psychologically maybe there are other words, phrases and explanations assigned to what has happened with and what he is accused of having done but here is the heart of the matter for me... a family has been (again) forever impacted by a father's poor choices... it doesn't have to end this way however... but for now we wait to see what will ultimately happen.

Personally, my hope is, if i get to revisit this topic in the future the story will be very different and filled with promise.