Motor Vehicle Madness!

Have any of you ever had to deal with the Department of Motor Vehicles?!?

What an incredible nightmare!

With our recent move to Illinois (did i mention that we just moved to Illinois after not being together as a family for over 600 days?), we had to make the trek to a local Secretary of State office to get new drivers licenses, plates, title transfers and titles for our automobiles. So being the perfectionist, reliable, conscientious, list making, logical first born she is, Ruthie (my wife) began in earnest about three weeks ago planning for this mornings' nightmare experience! She carefully gathered the four different pieces of identification, one from each of the following four categories for both of us...
Written signature, Date of Birth, Social Security number, Residency/ Personal Data.
Since the facility we needed to be at opened at 8AM, we left the house in the wee early morning hours to stand in a line with about twenty to thirty other people who had come to the Secretary of State's office for various reasons. After standing in line for about twenty minutes, the door was opened and we were directed into what had the feel of "livestock chutes" as the very grumpy looking (even at 8:02 am) employees told us where to go and where to stand. As we finally made our way to the counter in the middle of the room, the loudspeaker continued to call out number after number as we tried to give the gentleman our several pieces of identification.

Ruthie went first and handed over her old drivers license (from another state), a birth certificate, a marriage license and a utility bill to our home addressed to me. The gentleman looked over the information and proceeded to give Ruthie her "magic" ticket (it was really just a "please take a number" receipt, but it seemed like a "magic" ticket to me). i then began handing all of my information to this gentlemen including the same utility bill Ruthie had just handed the guy... at which point he asked me if i had the "necessary" residency proof. My response was "yes, this utility bill right here.." He then stated that Ruthie couldn't use the same utility bill that he had only moments before indicated was "good to go". At that point my lovely bride began to boil over, and told the man, "Hey we're married!?!" His response..."Ma'am I need a piece of mail with your name on it..." She began to protest, "When I called in and later checked this information on- line there was no indication..." i then jumped in to stop her because the guy who had up to that point been helping us, pretty much shut down and began his mantra of, "I can't help you ma'am...unless you have a piece of mail...blah, blah, blah." i then told Ruthie to stop arguing because this guy wasn't going to help her any more, he was in a word... done! As my wife exited the facility with none of the necessary paper work completed, it was pretty clear that she was ticked off... and let me tell you something, Ruthie is a pretty sweet woman but making her mad at 8:07 am is as bad an idea that one can have...

As she left the building obviously upset, i kept a bit of distance behind her (i didn't want to get hit frankly) and remember the guy i mentioned who was directing traffic down the livestock chutes??? He was at the door and remarked to another dude in a suit with a State of Illinois name tag..."There goes another one (meaning the now very angry Ruthie)... we'll see that dozens of times today", As i walked by and out of the door. Ruthie was pretty much in the car at this point and i felt like i simply couldn't leave and so i wheeled around on my heels and went back to the "cattle chute" guy. As i began to explain to him what happened, he asked me if we were married. When i began to explain why we were turned away, he instructed me to go get my wife, come back in and tell the guy who had denied us our "magic" ticket that "Rick" had ok'd everything. At this point, i'm thinking... this Rick guy must be like the Bureau of Motor Vehicles Godfather or somethin'!

Ruthie came back in and we began the whole process again only this time with "Rick" (the BMV Godfather) hovering close by so that "magic" ticket man wouldn't give us a hard time... and so after jumping through all the State of Illinois hoops including another written driver's test (one of the the first questions the perfectionist, reliable, conscientious, list making, logical first born one asked me when we were done was ..."How many did you miss on the written test... I didn't miss any!")... we finally walked out of the facility. But that was only after being told in one of the last checkout stations we would go through that morning, that we would need to come back again because there was a signature missing on one of the documents we had provided as proof of ownership of one of our vehicles...

Nice huh?

Amazing Friends....

Have you ever had a friend in your life who simply amazed you? Not in bad way of course but rather someone whose life was just amazing! The funny thing is this... most of the time friends like that don't even know that you think their lives are a marvel. In fact, they usually seem to go along like everything is pretty normal. They don't pretend to be something they aren't, the majority of the time they live by the credo WYSIWYG.

i have a friend like that, he is staying with my family this weekend. He'd probably be embarrassed if i told him any of this..."your life is amazing" stuff. i have known him since we lived in Canada, as a matter of fact the friendship that my wife and i grew into with he and his wife is one of those sorts of friendships that i trust will transcend time, space and (prayerfully) eternity.

The night my wife went into labor with our first born son, he and i stayed up playing a Nintendo (yeah that's right ... the original 8 bit deal....none of this Wii stuff) game called Nobunaga's Ambition right up until the time we called the OB/GYN and made our way to General Hospital (really that was the name of the hospital). When we finally did go to the hospital they were among the very first people we had come and meet our new little one! All along the way while we lived in Canada our friendship grew into this amazing thing. He in some ways became another brother to me (no disrespect Ken... you're still my favorite brother). Our kids actually refer to him as "uncle" although my youngest doesn't quite fully get why they do that and instead calls him "grandpa". Probably the most exciting thing for me has been watching his growth as a person of faith, a husband, a father and a leader. It is one of those things that if you let it, can just happen and you'll miss it if you don't pay attention.
i guess the thing that i love the most about friends like this (and truth be known... we all have them) is you never have to say stuff or be something that you aren't. i mean you can absolutely be yourself and it's completely alright. i love that.

At any rate it has been great to get to spend sometime with him and i hope that next time his wife (whom i've know since she was in High school) and his children will get to come our way again and spend some time with us.

i will continue to be amazed as i watch from where i am, his life and his leadership impact grow and grow. It's been great and i trust will continue to be, just being friends.

What does community really mean?

Finally, just this week after almost two years, my family and i are all living in the same house!

Now before you get any strange ideas about what that is all about just know this... the "hot" real estate market can cool fairly rapidly when you are trying to sell a home in certain parts of the country!

Our home finally sold in another state and that allowed us to find a home here and get moved into it earlier this week! And if you would allow me for a moment to "brag" about how incredible our church here in Bolingbrook is, i would appreciate it! (this is my blog anyway!) The number of people who showed up on a Sunday afternoon to help us get our belongings moved into our new home was absolutely fantastic! It says volumes upon volumes about how loved our family is and makes our love for everyone at Westbrook grow exponentially with every passing day! You are the best Westbrook!

Back to my posted question... what does community really mean? i have heard that there was a time when new neighbors might move into a neighborhood or community and folks up and down the street or from all over the block would introduce themselves. They might explain little idiosyncrasies of the neighborhood or certain things (or cranky neighbors) to be mindful of, or where the best deals for groceries could be had and on and on it would go. But i wonder if the days of that kind of community are completely gone?

i am concerned because it means something when that kind of social networking is considered passe or a bother. Am i suggesting that we are all going to be best friends...No... but what about having a collective "us" attitude as opposed to a "survivor of the fittest" take on living with other people?

i am writing this in part because i think i may have an idea for an effort of establishing community in the "new" neighborhood we live in but frankly need to be held accountable and asked if i am actually doing what i am asking about in this posting!

i don't think i am talking about or advocating some sort of "new & improved" idea of community but rather maybe a return to the idea of simply looking out for one another. The concept of loving your neighbor can truly begin with loving the people who live right next door to you... even if they perhaps choose not to love you back. i know that's easier said than done but i wonder if we are willing to even try any more...

i for one have an idea in my mind for what i would like to see begin to happen on our street in our new neighborhood and that idea centers on doing what i can, no matter how significant or small to cultivate an atmosphere of community...
You know the kind of community that you get when one neighbor kid who does something that maybe he/she shouldn't do and knows that it won't go unnoticed and by the time he/she gets home not only does everyone on the block know what really happened but Mom & Dad know every accurate detail! Not only do they know but they aren't offended because other neighbors got "involved" in their family but rather they love their neighborhood because they know others are looking out to protect everyone's children and everyone's families.

Maybe that's not the best definition of community but i suspect it might be a good start....

Speaking of kids.....

Can i talk about my kids for a minute?

i had intended to talk about something else this week but instead i need to talk about some very, very special people.

More than once over the past many years i have eagerly desired that my kids would love me... i think they know how much i love them... i am always telling them that i do but beyond that, i often try to figure out why in the world they love me back!?! i mean think about it, for most of us, this parenting thing is in many ways a total shot in the dark right? i think i can safely say that the majority of us who are doing the parenting thing are doing it pretty much by the proverbial seat of our pants... right?!?

You know what i mean... i wonder why these kids love me back when most of the time if i am honest i think i treat them like they are little lab animals... i'm trying out what i think is best or what i think is right with little to no guarantee that these guys are going to come out of the other side of what may turn out to be an at least 18 or 19 year experiment with each of them (there are four, that are here with us, we have two others that we look forward to seeing at another time and in another place) and be normal.

Please understand i am not advocating that only licensed people be pre-approved for parenting or anything like that... if that had been the case there are probably a lot of us who wouldn't be here today! But i know that my children with regularity have to put up with a lot of stuff that they shouldn't have to. My irritability and stubbornness can make for a home that is not so much fun from time to time. Yet they call out to me all the time to get my nod of approval or my attention and most of the time they pretty much love to "show off" for daddy.

Sometimes i worry about their resilience. i mean do they just forget the hard times? Do they simply not recall the scary times? What do their young and still developing minds do with the questions that even Mom and Dad can't really answer?

All i know is that my kids amaze me. They are incredibly forgiving and amazingly patient. They of course, do the normal stuff that kids do... arguing with one another, forget important details, misplace their own socks and shoes but in the grand scheme of things they continue to amaze me with their ability to continue to love me even when i am sure i have been a jerk toward them!

It is becoming more obvious to me that as my children grow older they will probably require less and less from me ( i hope... they are great kids but they are expensive sometimes!) but i think the one thing they will probably always require is to know is that daddy is proud of them... man, they really are great kids....

the tip of the iceberg...

i can’t help but wonder about the seemingly breathless coverage regarding the alleged atrocious and squalid conditions of Walter Reed Medical and perhaps throughout the entire Veterans Administration (VA) system when it comes to providing for the men and women who have for years and years have been and continue to be the ones “at the wall” for all of us Americans.

i am however wondering about a couple things…

if this is a systemic wide problem then why is the American public (not to mention taxpayer) only finding about it now as if the problems have only come upon the system in say, the last 7 years?!?

and… why are we about to be treated to the typical, sycophantic put-on-a-good-show-for-the-cameras hearing after hearing after hearing garbage instead of truly addressing the bottom line issue that the seemingly vast majority of Americans don’t want to or refuse to deal with?!? Which is… a universal health care system administered by our federal government will be a complete and horrific disaster.

Now don’t get me wrong… living in Canada when my oldest son was born to us and subsequently paying a grand total (for prenatal care, the delivery and a brief two day stay in the hospital) upon leaving the hospital of $75 was incredible!

The downside to that story however is that due to very limited space in the hospital and an over abundance of patients, Ruthie and Josiah were summarily kicked out of their room after about 8 or 10 hours and forced to remain in a waiting area in the maternity ward because they were not allowed to be discharged. With regularity i speak with friends who still live in Canada and are forced to deal with the Canadian health care system and the clear consensus is that the system is just not right and at this point may be beyond repair.

Though not widely reported here in the United States, as few as 6 years ago, several provinces (similar to our “states”) were considering creating a two-tiered medical system that would blend both public and private medical care into their system.

As a matter of fact the OB-GYN who delivered our first child, Dr. Lane, from what i gathered several years ago left the profession in Canada and moved to the United States so that she could make a living.

This is what happens when a medical system is completely run by bureaucrats.

And i have a very strong suspicion that that is the deal with the VA and i am positive that is the deal (with rare exceptions) with our federal government…

Supposedly one of our federally elected officials has indicated that his suspicion is that the situation with Walter Reed is merely the “tip of the iceberg” and is indicative of a much larger problem within the system.

i agree with that assessment.

What i would add to that is that if our federal government manages to convince the American electorate that universal health care is the perfect replacement and panacea for our current system… ever heard of “The Titanic”?

ps. yes, yes, yes i am several days overdue on my posting... so shoot me!